Another round of quotes from the American justice system. Not so much hilarious as just incredibly random. Enjoy:
“You got to let them know you’re not afraid.” – Lawyer to defendant.
“To me, that’s like an insult to the bench.” – Judge to lawyer.
“Work on your manners.” - Judge to defendant.
“Do you know who Sherman was? … Never fight over the same ground twice.” – Judge to defendant.
“That’s an interesting smell. What puddle of dog piss did you crawl out of?” - Lawyer to lawyer.
“That could be anybody your honor, I mean, it has to be a judge.” – Lawyer to judge.
“She’s a nice person, but she can’t make it on her own.” – Lawyer about his client.
“If I let her go, I’ll be dealing with escape too.” – Judge to lawyer.
“Ladies and gentlemen of the jury — I’ve got nothing.” – Lawyer.
“I’m really disgusted with myself.” – Defendant to judge.
“I don’t arrange social calendars.” – Judge to defendant.
“It may sound like I’m totally heartless, but I’m not.” – Judge to defendant.
“I stole jewelry from my mom.” – Defendant to judge.
“It may be spring, but we are not growing those kinds of crops.” Judge to marijuana defendant.
“Don’t pick up hitchhikers.” – Judge to defendant.
“Do you know what a hangfire is? … You have hot gunpowder with 50 pounds of explosives.” – Judge to defendant.
“There’s nothing between you and eternity.” – Judge to defendant.
“That’s how he rolls, yo.” - Lawyer.
“Maybe you should go to the bowling alley with him and discuss the case.” – Lawyer to lawyer.
“He kind of dabbles in all kinds of criminal activities .. a kind of jack of all criminal trades.” – Judge about defendant.
“We could go out there every day and find at least three felonies.” – Lawyer about a family farm.
“Weddings always give me hives.” – Lawyer.
